That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I could make wine with my vomit
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize
