I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
