This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
