At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
