Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
