We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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