May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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