Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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