Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize