Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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