Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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