I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
