I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
