the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize