Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Too much gin, very little bucket
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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