dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
