i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
