6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
