Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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