when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
