i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
They have beer where we have blood.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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