these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
