he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
