handjob tips. give me some.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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