at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize