who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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