We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize