She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
