So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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