none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
