we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
