Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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