I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
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