I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
