How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
