SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
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