I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
