yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
