i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
