Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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