He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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