So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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