You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
