Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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