Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
