This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
