I wanna bring you to show and tell
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
