I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
