So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
This toilet bowl is my home.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
