I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
