Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
