I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
