So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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