escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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