My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
