there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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