So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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