i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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