...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
