You're so nebulous sometimes
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
