To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
