Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
