I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
