You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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