I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize